“My name is Sergio, I’m 30, single and a father of one. In addition to this, I work for company XYZ, live an active lifestyle and enjoy meeting new people. There’s always time for a drink, smile and a conversation. Give me either and I may just surprise you.”

Sound familiar? Well, it should. If you’re in the dating dumps, on the wrong side of 25, alone, single (with or without kids), and somewhat damaged you’ve probably read or swiped on that profile at some point. Now, if you’re in the greater Sacramento Area, which tends to be a rather shitty place to be single, that is. I, like many of you have dabbled in “online dating” as a way to meet “matches” in an attempt to “hangout” with Ms. Right or Ms. Right Now. I my friends, am a Tinderholic, Plenty of Fish hunter, Coffee Meets Bagel eater and have a problem swiping right. To the point where I’m limited to the free swipes I get and am tempted to, but refuse to pay $9.99 for “premium access” mainly because I’m cheap and if I do pay I’ll really feel 30 and alone. What follows is my brutally honest account of my time on America’s most questionable dating sites. You’ll have full access to me at my best, worst, most vulnerable, honest, seedy and potentially charming self. Be warned, you may end up like some of my dates in the fact that you could be disappointed, disgusted, offended and catfished in what you read. That’s not the goal, like dating, is to make you laugh, think and maybe teach you a thing or two in order to help you avoid some pratfalls in your own Tinder adventures.

I keep falling back to Tinder because for better or worse Tinder has provided me with the most “connections”. I have been active on other sites,  POF,  Coffee Meets Bagel, Farmers Only and so forth. Yet no matter what’s out there I always fall back on Ole Faithful. There’s something about the simplicity, straightforwardness and grime that Tinder offers that draws me in. It helps that most people on there are after the same thing and if you’re not then you my friend have set yourself up for disaster. Trust me ladies, there are dick pics, request to have you sit on a face, toes sucking comments, manipulators and stalkers out there and in your inbox. Same goes for the fellas, don’t expect to take any of these Tinderonies home to mom. You Sir will without a doubt meet some serious opposition from Cat Lady, Filter Girl, Slightly-Heavier-than-my-Profile Woman, Batshit Crazy Madam and “I’m just trying this out”-Chick.  Yes, there are real people on here and yes we all want to find and feel a real connection but how much of a “real” connection are you seriously going to get from swiping on a picture because they’re attractive in 5 shots? Let’s be honest, we don’t read the profile and most of the time its bullshit.  We’re on Tinder because we’re alone, I mean single, somewhat horny and drawn to the instant gratification of acceptance. With the added concern that we probably don’t have the best track record in the dating game.

Like a train wreck happening in front of your eyes, feel free to peek through the cracks of my dating stories to enjoy the carnage. I will be posting a minimum of a date a week plus any previous “experiences”. Hell maybe you have your own story to tell and will share it with us. From time to time I’ll incorporate interviews and guest stories from fellow Tinderholics or those that have been on the wrong or better end of a match. As always I thank you for any comments, feedback, soul crushing critiquing that you may have. Most importantly and for the last time I will apologize to you in advance if what follows leaves a bitter taste in your mouth…That’s what she said? Or he said? Hell does it even matter anymore? Happy reading and keep those index fingers swiping.